LBravo fans were treated to a surprise Super Bowl this weekend, as news broke of a scandalous cheating scandal involving the cast. Vanderpump Rules. Even if the show isn’t on your TV, chances are you’ve heard or seen something about the lives of these reality stars from Los Angeles. Google Trends data shows that searches for the show have increased dramatically since Friday March 3. They remain high. As a viewer, it was difficult to keep up with all the gossip on the affair from celebrities, pop-culture influencers and cast members. Similar to the week before, a rumored feud between Hailey Bieber & Selena Gomez kept social media gossipers and internet abuzz.
Why do we care so much about the drama of others? It is what makes it so exciting and consuming for so many. Take Chrissy Teigen’s Instagram selfie following the event. Vanderpump Rules news breaking, captioned, “exhausted. Today, so many things happened that had nothing to do today with us.
No matter the reason, some people are drawn to drama that has little to do with them. But there comes a time when the obsession becomes something more than just a fun pastime. It can lead to something unproductive, or even dangerous. Mental health professionals have provided tips below to help you assess whether you are being drawn to drama from others.
Why we love drama of others that has nothing to with us
Joy Berkheimer, LMFT, Therapist, says there are many reasons why we enjoy watching drama unfold that isn’t related to our lives. First, you can enjoy the pure entertainment value of watching TV or watching movies. Consider this in the case of Vanderpump Rules Drama is a large part of the current events Will Make it to the show. You’ll also have the chance to get involved in an intense situation, which some people find exciting. This doesn’t come without any strings attached or consequences.
This is similar to why we may enjoy listening to sad songs even when we are in happy relationships. Berkheimer states, “We like the adventure and shifting feelings–it is just how we are built.” It’s like “Oh my God, I’m bored” if everything seems the same every time. Because drama can serve as an escape, it is a way for us to distract from the more stressful and unpleasant events in our lives.
Whatever your motivation, you need to recognize signs that your habit is not functioning as harmless entertainment or distracting from other areas of your life. Here are some warning signs that you might be suffering from this behavior. Too How to stop being consumed by drama from another person.
1. You don’t care about your life, or you are trying to escape your reality
Berkheimer and Tracy Livecchi (LSCW), both agree that drama that has no connection to you is a red flag. It’s when you find the drama more fascinating than what’s going on in your life. If you are not interested in your own development and growth, and instead seek out fulfillment and joy from watching others’ lives, it is a sign that it is time to refocus on yourself.
Berkheimer suggests that while some distractions from stress can be helpful, Berkheimer warns against pushing them away.
2. You are awake and waiting for your new cup of tea.
Do you check your phone for news about dramas of others first thing in the morning? While it’s normal to be interested in the latest news from a subject, if this is your first thought when you wake up, it could indicate that you need to focus your energy on your own. Berkheimer states, “If my first thought when I wake up is to look for your drama,”
“If my first instinct when I get up is to look for dramas, then I am probably a bit too involved in this thing.” “–Joy Berkheimer, LMFT
3. It is actively interfering in your responsibilities
You may also be falling behind in your responsibilities, which is a clear indicator that it’s time for you to get out of the drama of someone else. Bekrheimer or Livecchi recommend that you check in with yourself if you are consistently late for work projects, skipping out on hangouts with your friends, and/or are engaging in drama that does not involve you.
4. Comparing yourself to other people in drama is a common mistake
Drama can reflect back on us and our choices, which is why we love it. Berkheimer, Livecchi warn that it is possible to have too much good.
This can be manifested in comparing your choices and life to others, which can lead to you making poor choices and a lack of self-control. Berkheimer states, “Instead being in reference how we have improved our abilities or understood ourselves from our past selves,” Berkheimer said.
Particularly, comparing yourself with someone who seems to be doing something wrong in order to build yourself up doesn’t work. It’s better to look at yourself as a benchmark for your own growth than others.
5. Social media is a hot topic
Livecchi says another sign it’s time for you to stop engaging in heated discussions on social media about other people’s dramas is when you are involved in intense conversations that could border on harassment and cyberbullying.
Ok, you are too involved in the drama of others. How can you get out?
1. Physically check in with yourself
Your body could be telling you it’s time for you to get out of the way. Livecchi says that you might be experiencing some signs of stress or overwhelm, even though you don’t realize it.
To determine how overwhelmed you feel, she suggests doing a quick self-check-in. This information is invaluable for your future and will help you to recognize when it’s time for you to take a step back.
2. To preserve your energy, set boundaries
Protecting your energy and well-being by setting boundaries about how you interact with others’ drama is a way to protect your energy. Livecchi says that getting caught up in gossip and criticism can lead to anxiety and depletion. “We don’t have infinite energy so we want to be able to choose where our energy goes.” Set a time limit on the drama and stop engaging when it ends.
3. Inspire yourself to be interested in your life
Livecchi talks about having a finite amount energy and how it is important to channel this energy into creating a life that you are excited about. Your health, your relationships and hobbies should be the main focus. It’s natural to want to be involved in the drama of others, but it shouldn’t take away from your own health.